Prioritize YOU and the things you LOVE!
Finding balance seems to be a favorite past-time for every woman in business. Yet, we seem to hope for it often and yet, see it as something we will achieve in the future.
Yeah, no! The time to sort this out is NOW!!
Do you:
- Get to the end of the week and realise all the things you wanted to do for yourself are still on the to do list?
- Sometimes get annoyed at the demands placed on you, without any consideration of your needs?
- Wish everyone could just sort things out without needing to get you involved or dragging you into things that are just not a priority?
In this article, we discuss why it’s important to prioritise you and simple ways to do this daily. Let’s explore how you can put things in place to:
- prevent interruptions
- counter the need to feel responsible for everything and everyone
- get your own needs met as a top priority
We balance all this while trying to run your own business.
Read this article or listen to the episode
Why is it so hard to find balance?
If you feel like you just can’t get balance in your life, you are not alone! In reality, this is sadly the norm these days!
A study at British Columbia University by Louise Chivers revealed the difficulties women in business face to achieve balance and have their needs met. She discovered that most women believe balance is only able to be accomplished when they feel their BUSINESS is successful – either it has been running for some time, has achieved a certain level of financial success, or is validated by others as successful.
This self-limiting belief has women prioritize their business over themselves because the business must be successful first.
Louise also discovered women in business often put their family and other people’s needs above their own. Consequently, this drive to be all things to business and family, results in exhaustion, a sense of overwhelm, a feeling of never doing anything well enough, and often results in illness, anxiety, or depression.
How the heck are we able to get balance if we put our business and everyone elses needs before our own? This is a train wreck waiting to happen and is simply not sustainable!
Ideally, we need all areas of our life to receive the time and energy needed to be sustainable, but not at the expense of ourselves.
To achieve this, let’s ensure our needs are met, as a priority! Because, when we are operating from a place of WELL-BEING, we are in a better state of mind and can perform better in business and life.
As a result, we become a better partner, a better parent, a better friend, and a better business leader.
A Real Life Example!
Many year ago, I was working 12 hour days, coming home to be a mother and wife, finding time for housework, looking after the property, and also trying to maintain a social life. Oh, and doing a part-time law degree!
Unfortunately, I put every spare moment into my business. In fact, most of my friends were from my business.
I was so exhausted, I decided to take 5 days away from everything, to do nothing! A much needed rest, otherwise I was going to crash! In fact I may have. While away, it dawned on me, that I never prioritised myself and my needs. As a result, I had run myself into the ground!
Putting everyone and everything first caused me to feel resentful, unsupported, and trapped. I was not the best partner and I was dropping the ball in my duties as a parent and a friend. Ouch! All of this burnout meant that I was operating at a fraction of my capability in all areas of my life. Talk about a reality check.
So, I started looking for ways to get the balance right! I hit the internet and found some great ideas that would work for me. After 5 days, I returned home and put simple strategies in place to prevent this ever happening again.
Simple Strategies to Bring Back the Balance!
I hope some, if not all of these strategies, help you live a life of balance and joy!
Here’s what I did…
1. Acknowledged I was responsible for my life being out of balance.
It was so easy to blame others, the market, life, family etc for the issues. But in reality, it was me! I was not making any time for my needs, not delegating things to others, and I was believing everything was up to me.
2. Made it a conscious choice to bring my life into balance
Firstly, I openly made this choice and shared it with my partner and my family. I also had to be diligent because old beliefs and ways of working continually tried to sneak back in. This required me to make a conscious decision to break my old habits. Consequently, I needed to ensure the balance was at the forefront of my mind, on a daily basis.
3. Communicate my needs with others
Initially, I let my husband know what I needed. I also set myself up to delegate to others. (episode 2 has some great ideas on how to make this work). I create interruption boundaries so my team and family know when I am unavailable. This let’s me focus and prevents me having to switch between different activities and thought processes. (episode 01 talks about the cost of context switching – it’s huge). Communicating provides context and is respectful to others. I have noticed this has taken a lot of angst out of my relationships.
NOW…
4. Frequently set up a reward for effort system.
For example, I might have a heavy deadline and so I need to focus on work activities. This happens. Life happens. Business happens. However, I promise myself a self-care ritual once I get things done. These don’t need to be big and hairy rituals. They can be a 5 minute walk to grab a coffee, a swim at the beach, an outing with family, a bath, time at the gym, a pedicure, or just relaxing time on the lounge with my daughter. Basically, I give myself a reward and something to look forward to. I love this! It works really well for me!
5. Give myself 100% to what I am doing.
I am mindful to not think about other things or feel guilty during my focus time.
In the past I would feel guilty if doing housework, that I wasn’t spending time with my daughter. I would feel guilty when with my daughter, I was not spending time on my business. It was a silly cycle that kept me in a state of guilt and resentment.
Instead, I now set up my day and my schedule, I put rewards in place for my focus time, and put my mind completely on what I am doing. I also stay alert to the old self-talk telling me I am bad for doing what I was doing. Or that I should be doing something else. This is sneaky stuff and it comes in without you even noticing… so stay alert!
WHICH COMES TO MY NEXT POINT…
6. Practice being present.
This is not easy, but it is a lifesaver.
Whatever I am doing or not doing, I stay completely present to it. This takes practice but these days I find it is really easy and pretty much keeps away my old self-talk and guilt.
Eckhart Tolle is a great teacher of this philosophy. I love his work and listen to his audio books regularly.
Staying present is probably the most important skillset I have learnt in the last 10 years. I recommend you foster and grow this capability!
IN SUMMARY
- Acknowledged you are responsible for your life being out of balance.
- Make a conscious choice and commitment to bring your life into balance
- Communicate your needs to others
- Implement a reward for effort system.
- Give yourself 100% to what you are doing
- Practice being present.
Achieving balance is an ongoing journey, life happens and that’s ok. Our role in business and life is to do whatever we can to ensure our world is sustainable.
A little note from Deb
These 6 strategies have enabled me to bring life towards balance and support me in this ongoing practice.
At the end of the day life happens! Things come up and things get messy! That’s the beauty of living life. How we respond to the messy is up to us. Let’s use all the tricks we have to put things in place to ensure YOUR needs are met as equally as your business and your family needs. Without you, there is no business, and there may not be a family!
If you enjoy this article, please share this or the Podcast Episodes with people you know and love.
Some other Articles you may also enjoy:
001 | Simple Steps to Get your Business Problem Monkeys Off Your Back, Forever!
008 | 2 Simple Steps to SLOW DOWN TIME and Reduce the Overwhelm!
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